the tired soldier and redemption.

the thoughts still remain and
change can be so far,
so distant.
no fantasies to remind
i can look forward and be not left.
perhaps

the rest i needed evades me once more.
am i bored to be sad,
am i too busy too count steps so few,
let myself lace into what the hilt compels.
my elbow still broken from beating that poor bastard
yet i could still write,
i could probably still paint.. those depths i saw that moment dimly lit
i couldn't grasp for air. but to ounces of effort i know this war.
nothing too callous, i am given that much.
i have my revenge.

that is a blessing.

the blade never lies
i can see it pity and pathetic.
i could a write a song whilst my idols worship me.
have i come so far i let this happen,
can i let go to no avail like it wasn't like a television show,
is this real...
or is this dream
my will.
thinking 'till i get sick of it.
the rest might come easy..
god leave me peace bleeding there's something wrong,
to err is human.
to be human forgiving.. hence i don't mind being born sad at all.

wishing wasn't so well..

i leave myself some sanctuary to feel once more.
nothing and no one,
to tell me and look at the skies for something to hope for.
my love was distant, and time couldn't tell was it wrong,
perhaps i liken it to grief.. and there it will only belong.
and so..


fuck you all.
a lovely angel may wait,
i can sit here tired healing all aches.



(based on my painting "the tired soldier and redemption")