the tired soldier and redemption.

the thoughts still remain and
change can be so far,
so distant.
no fantasies to remind
i can look forward and be not left.
perhaps

the rest i needed evades me once more.
am i bored to be sad,
am i too busy too count steps so few,
let myself lace into what the hilt compels.
my elbow still broken from beating that poor bastard
yet i could still write,
i could probably still paint.. those depths i saw that moment dimly lit
i couldn't grasp for air. but to ounces of effort i know this war.
nothing too callous, i am given that much.
i have my revenge.

that is a blessing.

the blade never lies
i can see it pity and pathetic.
i could a write a song whilst my idols worship me.
have i come so far i let this happen,
can i let go to no avail like it wasn't like a television show,
is this real...
or is this dream
my will.
thinking 'till i get sick of it.
the rest might come easy..
god leave me peace bleeding there's something wrong,
to err is human.
to be human forgiving.. hence i don't mind being born sad at all.

wishing wasn't so well..

i leave myself some sanctuary to feel once more.
nothing and no one,
to tell me and look at the skies for something to hope for.
my love was distant, and time couldn't tell was it wrong,
perhaps i liken it to grief.. and there it will only belong.
and so..


fuck you all.
a lovely angel may wait,
i can sit here tired healing all aches.



(based on my painting "the tired soldier and redemption")

while.

numb and the silence
so cold it makes you sleep without a dream,
this festivity left me to worry ..
anymore,
off to the sleepless so bitter and arid,
that my mouth tasted like blood and rust,
that is all that is left
and they all went away with..

yet i wont ask for more..and i understand.

a book smashed my index finger;
i think of values,
that the pain does not control you.
like this day you were blinded for the sake of your eyes,
and to black you wished to see..

what is beneath of words
never was once there defied.
how could you fail?
lay
only to listen to music and his muse..

could you fear what is falling down?

once upon a time
the boy to be of beyond belief;
loving more to lilac scents
you always needed..
he is birthed to the abjure,
this to what would dwell of stories so sacred
never foretold..
years to pass and never to grow old.

how you see love
was never submission.
will this
to those who come forth with a dry spell
and a myth longing the want so near and far
cannot ask for more
since everyone is impure.

how you see
the soulless was never what you not fear.
perhaps something
to pertain what is now
the next pill to leave the boy not to see his sin.
once upon a time..it does take a while
thus
let me close my eyes
i know the embrace i could not see.
the dark..
my father not the feeder,
he was very clear..


my eyes, my eyes..
what would i not do
to always see

the forever demise...